My spouse has changed a lot, he is quite different from the time we got married.

 

The person you marry is not the same person you will live with for the rest of your married life. Their personality change the same way as yours. Life changes people, it is called maturing, getting older, having more responsibilities, in short, we are transformed by life events as they occur. So, one must not be concerned if your partner’s personality changes, for this is inevitable. Ask yourself; Have I changed? Do I think and behave now the same way I did when I got married? 

 

I rather fight for my rights at the courthouse than negotiate our disagreements in mediation 

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Sadly, the wounds of a traumatic divorce last in time, and cause pain and harm to the collateral victims, the children. Divorcing peacefully and in harmony sounds utopian and contradictory, but it is possible to do so and the benefits are immense because the breakup is finalized in friendly terms, and you will continue life as divorced but not as enemies.

 

I thought that our marriage was going to be harmonious and happy all the time.

 

Unfortunately, many couples find themselves disillusioned with their married life, and feeling that love and passion are over, they then decide to divorce. However, when they request our peaceful divorce mediator services, the first question we ask them is whether there is any possibility of reconciliation. If there is, we suggest exhausting all resources to resolve their differences. When reconciliation is impossible, our job as mediators is to help them navigate the hard path that culminates in the dissolution of the family bond, in the most peaceful way possible; specially to lessen the negative effects on the children. The peace of mind of knowing that the right thing is being done is crucial to move forward.

 

I am having problems at work; it looks as if I might lose my job.

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Setbacks at work can and often are causes of marital crises. When one of the two spouses, becomes unemployed, money problems can place a big strain on the couple. The spouse who loses a job, may feel that by not contributing with the money needed to cover expenses, has become less useful; harboring negative feelings which can end up affecting the relationship. On the other hand, the spouse that continues working, may feel overwhelmed.

 

Illnesses, whether physical or mental, test the strength of the couple.

 

If a spouse has some physical problem or mental illness, it may lead to the couple´s frustration and despair, which strains the relationship. Chronic diseases bring terribly stress to the sick person and to the family.  Psychological counseling strengthens the family group, helping them face the situation.

 

 

We do not want our children to know that we are getting divorced.

 

Parents should talk to their children about their separation without going into too many details, and avoid blaming each other. You shouldn´t underestimate your children's ability to understand what is happening. Children need to believe that their parents will always be by their sides, regardless of their divorce. Most importantly, the children need to be reassured that they are not the reason for their parents' divorce.

 

 

 I think that I found the right person to start a new married life.

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Prepare your partner and child for the first time they meet. Talk to your young children about this person and explain why you like the relationship. Make sure to tell your children that your friend is a fun person, really smart, very cool, cares a lot about you, very sweet guy, hardworking. Prepare the scenario, so one day you can set up a meeting or ask your children if they would like to have dinner together. Don´t forget to tell your partner about what sports or hobbies they practice, and any other information you think could help your partner establish a good rapport with your children.

 

 

I don’t get along well with my relatives.

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Family relationships depend on many factors, and it is common to have conflicts arise with parents, siblings, or extended family members. Some of these conflicts are easily manageable, unfortunately others are not and they can cause estrangement between family members. Family reconciliation is a very useful and effective tool, which we use to help you communicate effectively.

 

My spouse and I fight practically for everything. 

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In order to resolve the conflicts that overwhelm you, it is not crucial to find all the necessary solutions for all the problems, but to identify the problems that need solution. We often spend time and effort trying to solve the peripheral problems that affect a conflict, without identifying, facing and much less solving the central problem that started the confrontation. I invite you to share with your partner your ideas to avoid and resolve tension, and to ask for his opinion and suggestions in this regard.

 

I finally started dating after my divorce, should I introduce my date to my children?

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You don't need to introduce your child to everyone you are dating; only those with whom you are developing a serious relationship. Although your young children may be curious about someone you’re dating, they may bond with this person before it is appropriate to do so; they might want you to marry this person immediately in hopes of creating a new and more traditional family union. Be sure to explain to your children the differences between dating, developing a relationship, getting engaged, and getting married. Your children need to understand that not all dating and friendships end in marriage. You also need to discuss with your partner the best time for them to meet your children. Do not pressure your partner to get to know your children before you think he is ready to do it.